New Digs

We just moved into our new office this weekend. We're moving for a couple reasons. One is that we have more space now for less money. Another is that we get to be across the hall from CJ and Sheila with Patrick Crossing--a similar ministry in town. CJ has been a real friend and mentor to me over the past several months. It will be good to have access to these guys--especially this summer when I lose my office-mate!

One of the best parts of the move is that I can look out my window to Smelter Mountian (one of the coolest hikes ever!) and room 222 of the Strater Hotel where Louis L'Amour wrote many of his books.

We've Seen Too Much!

To add to the previous post, I think there is one other perspective we are aiming for at CTK Durango and Farmington. Having our witness of Christ come from our own experience is paramount to reaching the people around us with the Good News.

The "other half" of our witness, I believe, is illustrated in a story in the book of Acts. As Peter and John are going into the temple to worship, a crippled beggar asks them for money. Instead of giving him cash, they heal him! They literally tell him to get up, then help him up and all go inside the temple together. The response of the church leadership is to arrest Peter and John. They don't know what to do with them since the crippled guy is standing there next to them. Finally, they decide to play the heavy with Jesus' disciples. They tell Peter and John that they can leave, but they must never preach or teach in the name of Jesus again. Peter and John basically respond by saying, "after what we've seen God do in the name and under the authority of Jesus, we couldn't possibly stop preaching his Good News.

If you are living in relationship with Jesus, the authority with which you preach the Good News comes from your personal experience with him--like the blind guy Jesus healed. There are times, however, when you are experiencing crisis, or catastrophe, or things just aren't going well. It sounds a little strange to people when your husband just died to be talking about the miraculous things God is doing in your life. Sometimes, we don't have something current to point to in terms of God transforming us--we are in process. It is at these times when I believe the testimony of the maturing Christ-follower is to say, "I don't know what's going on right now, but I've seen too much to not trust God to walk with me through this."

Our goal right now, is to live in balance (tension, maybe) between these two attitudes toward Christ. We either share from the experience of transformation and healing God has extended to us, or we are modeling faith in light of those things we've experienced in the past. The Christian who embraces and lives out these concepts will be miles ahead of the person who "knows" everything there is to know about God.

We Should All Be Blind Guys.

I've been spending a lot of time recently thinking about the idea of witness--using our story to share the Good News. Growing up in church and going to Christian colleges, I've had my share of training on how to share the gospel--all the different reasonings and arguments.

I know that if you filled the state of Texas two feet deep with silver dollars, marking one with an X, the odds that some random guy would wade into it and randomly pick the same coin are the same as the odds that one man could fulfill eight of the many prophecies in the Old Testament about the Messiah.

I've heard compelling evidence for the scientific possibility of Noah actually fitting all the necessary animals on the ark to survive a flood.

I haven't heard much about talking snakes, so Adam and Eve still confuse me to some extent.

All this to say that as fascinating and compelling as some of these ideas are, I'm not so sure they are very effective in leading someone to a place where they meet Jesus. The more I think about it and look at the Word, the more convinced I am that a relationship with God is less about learning his "stuff" and more about meeting him.

Jesus healed a guy who was blind. The guy really didn't even know who Jesus was. We know this because the religious leaders grilled him and his parents forcefully to try and figure out who healed him, how, and with what authority. Finally, the guy blurts out, "I don't know who he was or what authority he has, but yesterday I was blind and now I can see!"

How do you argue with that? What use does it serve to question his theology? Can you further convince this man of his new ability to see by revealing to him the secrets of the true age of this young earth?

At CTK, we are trying to make a move toward being blind guys--or, I guess, ex-blind guys. In our culture in Durango, there is a lot of spiritualism and a lot of compelling intellectia (is that a word?). There are a ton of smart people with good arguments to support their opinions and conclusions. I wonder what a bunch of former blind guys who have been healed by Jesus, even before they know all about him, could do in a culture like that? Maybe we'll find out.

Experiencing the Power of Prayer

Oscar started stuttering during the summer. We figured it had something to do with anticipating a new school year--starting kindergarten. Our basic tactic was to not bring attention to it and see what happened. Once school started, the stuttering got worse. After a couple weeks, though, things seemed to settle down and he was able to find his words again. Oscar has been doing really well academically and socially at school. You can tell he is about to break into the world of reading and he really loves to learn. He's also found a few good friends and seems to get along well with most of the kids at school.

This is why a week or so ago, we became concerned when the loss of words seemed to come back--with a vengeance. It wasn't so much that he was stuttering, but you could tell it was really bothering him. It was almost like he was being oppressed or held down by some weight, which is hard as a parent and especially tough with a kid who is pretty introverted to begin with. Last week, Jenn and I had been talking about some of the things we've seen God doing around us and while I was in Farmington for the worship service, it occurred to her to pray for Oscar. I'm a little embarrassed that this didn't occur to us sooner, but there's not a lot I can do about that! Anyhow, Jenn prayed for Oscar and you could instantly see a difference. It was as if something had been lifted from him. He spoke clearly (even on the phone to tell me what happened) and his entire countenance improved. For the past several days, we've continued to pray with him every morning, asking God to help him find his words and give him the peace he needs to be able to relax in his talking. He still gets caught up sometimes in what he's saying, but the amazing thing to me is the difference in his spirit. He seems more calm and less "turned in" on himself.

The best thing about this for me is the fact that Oscar has always been our thinking kid. The whole concept of God as been a little strange to him and he's always hesitated to pray (in fact, he still doesn't like to pray out loud). I love the fact that God had mercy on us and met the boy in a very real and very tangible way. Whatever Oscar does from here on out in his faith and relationship with God, he will always be able to remember a time when God moved in a big way in his life. It inspires me to seek God out in my own life as well.

Settling Down

Things are starting to settle down a bit for our family. Jenn is getting a rhythm at school and developing relationships with the kids. Oscar just celebrated his sixth birthday (we had a couple kids over and carved pumpkins), and Piper walks around all day saying she loves you to "bits and pieces". I'm even gaining some equilibrium as my mom has offered to take the kids to school M-W-F which gives me a little margin in the morning to do work. It's good to see the kids feeling more secure and Jenn and I are able to communicate more and bring each other down less.

I also bought a car. After ten years of living by the philosophy of, "I'd rather fix it than make a payment" I finally caved and decided I'd rather have a payment than spend my life under a car on the side of the road. I opted for wisdom over ego and ended up with a Mitsubishi Outlander (imagine a minivan and a station wagon having a baby). It's a good car, but by no means what I am used to. I'm realizing that part of my comfort level with driving kids to school and buying groceries has had a lot to do with the fact that I still drove a badass Jeep. Now that that's been stripped away, I'll have to find my identity in something more appropriate.

Church is going great. Last night we had Food Night (can you guess what happens there?). I love just hanging out with our community "on God's time". There is no sermon or program we could launch that could ever legitimize relationship like a food night! Farmington is going well too. We are about to start some small groups out of the main worship that's been happening on Wednesday nights. It's pretty neat to have these guys coming to me saying, "hey, we're ready to start some small groups!"

Family Camp

This weekend Jenn and I took the kids to Moab, UT to go camping. Moab is about three hours away in the red desert of Utah. It is a beautiful place with massive red cliffs and tons of natural arches. It's pretty much the next mecca for mountain biking, off-roading, and river activities after Durango (maybe before Durango depending on who you ask). We had a great time checking out the town and looking for future camping spots. The highlight was our trip through Arches National Park. The place was a mind-bending overload of desert rock scenery. I can't wait to go back.

The Good, The Bad, and now for some Ugly

It's been a few weeks, now, since school has started. The kids are doing well. Oscar is adjusting to kindergarten and Piper loves her preschool. Jenn and I are still struggling with our transitions. The logistics and administration are not going well at her school which is a new program this year. Teacher morale is extremely low and the students are pretty under motivated, to say the least. Add to this the change from being with the kids all day long to only seeing them in the evenings and things begin to get a little muggy. She's handling all this with grace and doing a good job of surviving work and making good use of her time with the kids in the afternoons. It is difficult to watch. I would much rather be going through the stressful stuff myself than have to watch Jenn suffer.

We decided to go this route so that I could continue to pastor our campuses when there is not enough funding to support us. This arrangement allows me to work my office hours around school schedules and not be required to work another job part time. I guess the bottom line is that we've chosen a difficult path. I believe we made a good decision, but it is going to be a tough year.

Day 1: Farmington

Wednesday night we had our first meeting in Farmington, NM. A few of the guys from Durango came and led worship which was cool. We had about sixteen people there which is encouraging after last year when one single person came to our first Durango meeting (and she only came to explain to us how evil the NIV version of the Bible is).

We talked about acceptance, love, and forgiveness. Actually, we talked mostly about acceptance through the eyes of Levi and the notorious sinners who had dinner with Jesus. I think the sixteen people there that night are set to reach out to Farmington with the acceptance that Jesus modeled. We are quite the group of ragamuffins, but I think that's what will make this campus effective.

It will be exciting to see how things develop over the next few months.

A Thought On Scattering Seed...

In our staff meeting this last week, we had an interesting conversation about evangelism. We were talking about different methods of sharing the gospel and complaining about some that we didn't think were very effective. It got me to thinking about Jesus' parable of the seeds. In Jesus' story, a farmer scatters seed in a bunch of different places...thorny soil, rocky soil, the path, and good soil. The parable basically describes the process of sharing God's love and how different people respond to the Message.

This parable has taken on new significance to me recently. I've often become excited about some new way of sharing Christ and equally as animated about evangelism that I don't agree with or like. One of my greatest frustrations has always been with guilt or death motivated evangelism. I can't bear to watch Kirk Cameron brow-beat some poor guy on the street until he agrees that he's scum. Of course, there is truth to Kirk's method--we are scum. We've all sinned and fallen short of God's glory. I believe, however (you may see a pattern in my posts here) that what you win people with is what you win them to. If you spend all your energy convincing someone how horrible they are (as if we need someone to point out where we fall short!), the faith they live out will be one of always looking over their shoulder wondering if their salvation ever really took or if God is going to give up on them because they keep sinning. On the other hand, if you introduce someone to Christ through his love and sacrifice, the next thought on a person's mind is how unworthy they are of that kind of love which leads to the idea of grace. This person will live out their faith with a sense of God's acceptance for them. Seeking forgiveness will become a matter of reconciling relationship as opposed to "settling accounts" with God.

This is where the farmer sowing seeds comes in. In Jesus' story, the farmer seems to be walking around throwing seeds all over the place. Some of it doesn't get off the path, some goes in the thorns, etc. What if the farmer chose a fertile setting, plowed the ground, planted the seeds purposefully, and then irrigated the field? He might experience a more effective harvest. This is not to say that Jesus' farmer was mistaken, lazy, or incompetent. Sharing the message of God's love is a beautiful thing in any form--inspired by love. Too many people never even go as far as the farmer scattering seeds. Fewer people, however, go one step further to purposefully bringing Christ into fertile places, taking the time to build relationships and trust and model the gospel as well as share it. Too many of us are so anxious to seal the deal, we end up throwing seed out that only gets picked up by the birds a minute later. In my opinion, using a Sunday church service as a faith community's primary form of evangelism is scattering seed. How one man speaking for 37 minutes can say what a thousand people need to hear is beyond me. It seems to me that the Christian friends and families of the thousand people would have a better shot at knowing what they need than the one preacher. Of course, being a preacher, I believe there is evangelistic as well as other kinds of profound value to preaching, but is the sermon or the Sunday service, for that matter, the best place to put all our evangelistic energy?

This is a motivating thought to me. I want to be sure I am sowing seed where it will be most effective. I suppose the bad end of this spectrum of thinking would be to "withhold" the gospel from someone we imagine will not be receptive, but I'm not sure that's a good enough argument to not be purposeful in how we go about communicating the great mystery of God's love.

Countdown to Farmington

Next Wednesday, we start our new Farmington, NM campus! I'm pretty excited and everyone seems to be working hard to get things ready. Music is pretty much the only thing we really don't have, but it has been amazing to see some old guitars and keyboards being dug up to give it a try. I absolutely love our Farmington crew. I can see people doing what they are gifted and empowered to do and I can only assume this means God has some big intentions for this new community.

This last Sunday night, we got to commission Melissa and Christine, two of our key leaders in the new campus. It was so fun to pray for them and see the Durango group embrace these new leaders.

World Speed Record For Bad Day

Learning how to be the "stay at home--while working in an office--and driving Hummer tours" Dad is definitely presenting it's challenges. I love the time I spend with the kids. Piper and I, in particular, are getting to hang out a lot in the office--days full of coloring pictures, picnics on the floor, and designing tiaras on the My Little Pony website.

This morning, however, was not fun. I've been having trouble getting Oscar to school by 8am. Today I was stressed out because we didn't have any groceries, so I was sending the boy to school with no lunch (of course I was going to bring him one later). On the way down the hill, we stopped to help our neighbor who was broken down on the side of the road. This set us back a little, but we made our way to Starbucks (did I mention we didn't have any breakfast food either?). With school only a mile away and only two minutes late, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I pulled up in front of the school ready to get on with the day only to find a police car stopped behind me with his lights on. Admittedly, I was driving 30mph in what I thought was a 25mph zone, however, kind officer Murphy informed me that during school hours the limit is 20mph putting me a heinous 10mph over the legal limit. The officer was kind enough to let me walk Oscar to his classroom while he wrote me up.

Needless to say, this took all my emotional energy and coping skills to manage myself--not to mention meriting the all-time speed record for ruining a day before 8am (actually, it says 802am on my ticket)!

What you win them with...

This flyer was stuffed in my front door this morning.

It may not be completely clear in the pictures, but it is a flyer advertising a competition at a local church to win a gameboy. It's not clear if this is for children or anyone, but the idea is that if you show up and do well in the competition, you will win a video game. My favorite part is where it says you get 10 points for wearing church clothes!

I do have a point (besides just thrashing on the flyer). This is what people who equate numbers of attenders with church success call a "growth engine". A growth engine is an event or series of programs designed to get people in the door of a church in hopes of netting new attenders, and therefore, new Christians. I have two problems with growth engines (besides the silly corporate terminology birthed out of businesses trying to sell stuff):

1) "What you win them with is what you win them to" Ironically, I think I got that phrase from the same organization that taught me about growth engines. The idea (in a church context) is that the methods you reach people with are the same things they will look to later for their continued spiritual growth. In this case, people who show up to win a gamebooy with their church clothes (10 points) and their neighbor (30 points) are going to see church as a competition. How do you explain to "Jonny Gameboy" that salvation is a free gift through Jesus and we don't have to accumulate points to win his grace? Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have the world's largest banana split at Sunday School. All I'm saying is that is not a good evangelism tool.

2) My second problem with this growth engine tactic is that, besides the name of the church (which I tried to black out), you wouldn't know that this is a church event. There is nothing on this flyer indicating the ultimate purpose for getting these kids to show up, which to me, is and underhanded and basically dishonest way of getting people to church. This church, in my opinion, has shown their greatest priority to be getting people to show up, followed closely by illustrating the church as a place to earn points for great prizes, and somewhere after all that (my guess is at the end of the campaign when the kids will get bonus points for bringing their parents to church) Jesus.

This may seem petty and mean to you. You might be thinking that I am a bitter and jealous guy (probably some disgruntled pastor who can't get more than 30 people to show up to his worship services). You might think I'm being a little hard on a church who is just trying to reach out to their community. Well, Jesus' harshest words always seemed to be reserved for church people who's priorities were out of whack, and somehow, Jesus managed to have kids all over him and, as far as I know, never gave away a gameboy in his life. It seems to me that his authentic love for them was somehow attractive--to everyone.

Stuff I See Everyday...

I recently got to snap a bunch of pictures on the trails around here. Enjoy!

We're Expanding!

For quite some time now, we've had a small contingent of people commuting from Farmington, NM (about an hour) to CTK Durango. A couple months back, I started a small group that met in one of the families' homes during the week. We've come to the point where they are really beginning to share their experiences and love for God with the people around them in Farmington...the only problem is it is a lot to ask someone to drive an hour with you to worship. So, starting in the middle of September, we are going to evolve our small group in Farmington into a Cafe-level worship center. We're going to meet in a Spa/Billiards shop (I'll get pictures, but for now imagine a building that totally beats Pickles in the character department!). Part of this transition will mean advertising the new location, starting about three more small groups in Farmington, and me teaching there on Wednesdays in addition to Sundays in Durango.

Of course I'm excited about the prospect of becoming more available to people in Farmington, but the greatest thing about this new development are the people who are chomping at the bit to reach out to their community. I am really enjoying the process of them taking ownership and running full speed with this!

On a personal note, things are heating up a little at home looking toward the fall. Jenn starts teaching on the 15th of this month (August) and the kids start school the week after that. I will be shuttling kids around to their various schools and classes. Jenn is a little anxious about getting back in the classroom after about six years and I am still trying to squeeze another six to eight weeks out of this tour season with the Hummer (oh, and start a new CTK campus in Farmington). We are looking forward to some much needed help from family and friends as well as some good old fashioned godly grace as we navigate this next season!

The Wedding Preacher

I've been asked to do more weddings in the past few months than in the last several years. My favorite thing about people getting married is that it is an easy line to draw from how we feel about each other to how much God loves us.

The dilemma I've faced a few times now is when I am approached by people who are not part of our church community (or any church community, for that matter). They are not asking my permission to be married, but they do want a pastor to officiate. Usually, during our conversation they communicate to me that, even though they don't have a vital or consistent relationship with God, they still want his blessing and want him to be part of their union.

This brings up an interesting spiritual dilemma. In Romans 1, Paul talks about the fact that no one is without excuse when it comest to knowing God, because there is enough evidence of him out there that everyone has the opportunity to seek him...and if we seek him, he will reveal himself to us. I believe that a wedding can be one of those moments where someone who is mostly irreligious will suddenly be seeking God--and I believe God is not only pleased by this, but will reveal himself to them.

The conversations I've had with people wanting to get married have been the most grace-filled, God-centered, and peace-delivering conversations I could hope for. Couples seem to leave with a sense that God loves them, even if they haven't been going to church or being "religious".

I could be wrong about this, but I've come to the conclusion that I would rather build a bridge between two people and God and establish a relationship with them myself than play the role of one more religious person who invalidates their love and commitment by denying them God's presence in their wedding.

Camping with the Boy.

Yesterday afternoon, Oscar and I decided to go camping. We live about eight miles from our pick of over 20 campgrounds in the La Plata Mountains. We had a great time except that the raccoons got in the Jeep and ate our breakfast during the night. We hiked around and threw rocks in the creek. I am really enjoying the time I get to spend with Oscar these days. He is about to turn six and I am realizing that five and six were when I began to do things I can still remember. I remember my first A's game with my dad and grandpa, and pretending to be asleep at my desk in kindergarten so I wouldn't have to dance around the classroom.

We decided to leave the tent and stuff in the back of the Jeep so we can go back the next time we have a free evening! I hope these will be things he remembers for the rest of his life.

Hooray for Baptisms!

Yesterday we had our first baptism! Peggy (Jenn's mom) got baptized in the river yesterday afternoon. It turned out really well. I was a little apprehensive about the freezing cold water, but it wasn't that bad. It was a great moment and a big milestone for our church.

Catching Up

It's been a while since I posted here...mostly because Hummer tour season is in full swing, so office time is scarce. Here are a few random thoughts to catch you up on what's going on in DGO:

-Sunday we have our first baptisms (in the freezing cold river).

-Last weekend I performed the first-ever Hummer tour wedding in the La Plata Mountains.

-Oscar has to be one of the only 5 year olds in the country who spends two to three days a week wheeling in a Hummer and isn't sure he wants to play t-ball.

-Tubing season in the river has begun! The last time I sat on this thing was to slide down the hill in the snow onto my parent's pond that was frozen solid!

Well, that'll have to do for now...I'll be back shortly with a report from the baptisms!

Who Invented Christ the King?

Well, we've decided to put a couple adds in the newspaper again to let people know that we're still out there and to notify them about the fact that we're meeting at the Rec Center now.

Once again, the only call I've received about it was from a woman from Christ the King Lutheran Church who was incredibly upset about our name. I've listened to the message so many times that I almost have it memorized. My favorite part is, "40 years ago, we had a picnic and came up with our name--we made it up. I want you to know you have stolen our name and I resent that very much!"

I'm not sure what to really make of all this. Besides that fact that a large percentage of Lutheran churches are called, Christ the King--and many of them "made their names up" 80 to 100 years ago, it pains me to think that this would be such an issue for some people. I could see if a church had a name like, "Sacred River Blood of the Lamb" and we used the same name, there might be some frustration--coming up with a relevant and unique name for a church and having it copied would be a bummer.

In the end, I have to be glad that only a few people seem to be really hung up on this name thing and the people of influence at CTK Lutheran who I've talked to were not only generous with their name, but loving people bent on the cause of Christ.

I'm almost looking forward to this coming Sunday when our next add comes out to see if I get another message!

Roller Coaster

Snapshot of CTK Durango

I love it when someone in our church says something that reflects exactly what we are trying to accomplish as a community. Last night in our Farmington small group, someone was describing a co-worker who is a real character and a little "out there". The comment was something along the lines of, "I've never been to a church that I would be willing to invite ________________ to until now."

She gets it! How about that, a church where you can invite the people in your life who you would probably not be accepted anywhere else!

Party On!

We had another fabulous BBQ party at our house this past Sunday for church. When we booked the Rec Center, there was one week in May (this past Sunday) that had already been booked by another group, so we had to meet somewhere else--bummer!!! Everyone came over to our house for some food, drinks, campfire, and general foolishness. We had some visitors, which is always nice. Kids ran around screaming dressed as princesses, dogs fought over tennis balls and begged for food and we all shared memories we have of the past year at CTK Durango. The two times that we've done this have been some of the best times of my life! I just can't describe how amazing it is to look around my home and see people hanging out, laughing, encouraging each other, and sharing what they feel is meaningful about being a part of this church community.

Oh, and burgers and brownies and beer are fun too!

Hummer Season!

My season of driving Hummer tours has got off to somewhat of a rocky start. After finishing the final adjustments/repairs and prerunning trails all weekend, I had my first bonafide tour on Friday. It was a group of women who have been to Durango once before and liked the tour so much they decided to come back just to take a ride in the Hummer--no pressure there! The whole day went great until we hit the Test Track (an area with big inclines and off-camber obstacles that show what the Hummer can do). I had just finished climbing a steep ledge when the motor cut out. I realized immediately that I had forgotten to switch fuel tanks and the motor had run out of fuel. Priming the fuel pump and restarting the truck is not a huge deal on flat land, but with the nose pointing up in the air, I was pretty much dead in the water. After Jenn came to shuttle my people back to their hotel, I was able to finally get the truck started again. It involved winching the Hummer up hill with a snatch block pulley from my Jeep to a tree to the truck--then I had to use two jacks to lift the back end up enough to get fuel to the motor. In the end, I got back to town in time to bring the ladies back out and finish the tour (I'm not sure why the agreed to go back out with me!). I'm really hoping this experience was more of a final kink to smooth out as opposed to a foreshadowing of things to come!

Taste of Durango

Yesterday was the annual Taste of Durango event in town. Three blocks are taken over by local restaurants in booths selling food, beer, etc.--the proceeds of which go to benefit Manna Soup Kitchen. Our very own Ruthie, who is the program director at MSK, organized the entire event including recruiting the 200 volunteers it took to set up, work, and clean up the TOD. Almost everyone from CTK was involved at some level with the prep or running of the day. I was most proud of the inroads and relationships Ruthie was able to establish through this. It will be interesting to see how we are able to better integrate with our community in the future because of the connections and impressions she made through the Taste of Durango. Another highlight for me was working security at the event and all the amazing free food that comes with the role of Security Roamer!

Being Gay in Church

I've recently had the opportunity to meet with some friends of mine to talk about what it means to love God as a homosexual. Ultimately, I can't say we've come to many solid conclusions, but we have made a commitment to seek God and his truth above all else--no matter what it looks like. I may refer to this ongoing discussion from time to time because I believe it is one of the most relevant conversations a Christian can have in our culture and time of history. I would be interested in any (non-anonymous) feedback you would be willing to offer.

Here are a couple initial thoughts from my recent conversations:

---God loves gay people! No matter where we go from here, we have to acknowledge that Jesus died for everyone and any person, gay or straight, who is intereseted in knowing God throug him should be embraced and encouraged. Behavior and baggage come in second to establishing relationship with God.

---Scripture cannot be ignored. We may not understand certain things about God's word, but we cannot throw things out that look, on the surface, to speak against what we think or how we feel. We must commit to an honest search of God's truth which is presented to us in scripture.

---The vast majority of homosexuals did not choose to be gay. It may not be genetics, but even if you believe conditioning influences sexuality, a small child who is lacking authentic and balanced love or is being hurt intentionally by an adult is not choosing the sexuality they grow up with. There are some people, I believe, who choose sexual perversion as adults--these people are purposefully trying to do anything they can think of to distort God's creation--they are not, by far, representative of the bredth of the homosexual population.

Here are three questions my friends and I have agreed to grapple with in light of homosexuality and scripture:

1. What do we do (as homosexuals) with the reality that men and women are created to be compatible sexually?

2. What do we do with the fact that God has laid out a pretty clear picture of marriage between men and women and the relevance of balanced gender roles in raising children?

3. How much of who I am now has to do with things that I've experienced or things that were withheld from me in my childhood.

In Romans 1, Paul states that one of his purposes for writing to the Christians in Rome is so that he can encourage them in their faith----and so he can be encouraged in his faith by them. The bottom line in my relationship with these new friends of mine is that I want to help shepherd them in their relationship with God and I want to learn about God and his profound love for his children through their journey and friendship.

Once again, I'm so pleased to be part of a church community where these topics can be addressed. I'm glad we address these things, not in theory or doctrinal conjecture, but inasmuch as they relate to the lives of the people we love.

Show and Tell

We had a great weekend in California! We packed as many meetings into a 72 hour period as humanly possible. We came home exhausted and inspired to continue in the adventure God has laid before us in Durango. It was great to see so many friendly faces and catch up with good friends.

One of the highlights for me was meeting with a couple students from my Santa Cruz days (over ten years ago). We had lunch with Hillary and her mom and her new baby boy. About five years ago, I had the privelege of marrying Hill to her husband, Sonn. It has been an amazing thing to watch her grow up handling the joys and responsibilities of being a wife, a school teacher, and now a mother. I am so proud of how she has brought God's Kingdom into the world through the context of the life she's developed. It seems like just yesterday that I was trying to convince Hillary to go down a hill on an inner tube with way too many people stacked on it!

I also got to see a kid (now a man) named Dan. In high school, Dan's younger brothers used to show up to church with sharpie tattoos covering their arms. After high school, people weren't sure about the wisdom of Dan apprenticing at a tattoo shop. Today, there is a six month waiting list to get a tattoo from Dan. He's opened a shop with a couple other guys and is respected for his art as well as his faith in an industry that tends to pride itself in its distance from God. It was so amazing to sit with Dan and hear about his journey. Of course, I also took advantage of the opportunity to let Dan put some of his art on me. There is a wide spectrum of opinion on the issue of tattooing. I personally see it as a combination of art and expression of what matters most to a person. For me, it has been an opportunity to illustrate my love for Christ as well as his for me--in this case, I was able to add to that the experience of supporting a guy who I couldn't be more proud of and inspired by.

We also met with about sixty of the people who have been supporting us over the past year in Salinas. It was so exciting to show them what God has been doing in Durango. I think the benefit of the meeting was as much for us as anyone. It gave me fresh perspective on the beauty of God's mission for us here. It affirmed his call on our lives and this community and gave me a renewed energy to reach out to the people in Durango who have given up on church, but still burn with a need for God. Over all, the trip was a great success. It provides a fantastic transition to whatever it is that lies ahead for us.

Easy Like Sunday Morning.

Here at CTK Durango, we have our worship service on Sunday night. We meet at 6pm. At first, this was just a logistical issue. We wanted to visit other churches, we had dinner together (when we were small enough to fit around my dining room table), and we wanted to get to know the town. I guess we always thought we would eventually transition to Sunday mornings, but I'm starting to wonder if that ever needs to happen. Durango is an active town, to say the least. By meeting on Sunday evenings, we make ourselves that much more accessible to the people who live here. I've also noticed that, by meeting in the evening, there is a very relaxed and laid back feel to our meetings and worship. People seem to be in a restful mood. They're not in a hurry to get home and watch a football game or eat lunch. My favorite thing about meeting on Sunday nights, though, is personal. I've always struggled with the idea of the Sabbath. I've never understood why it seemed that only people who were not pastors or church staff were allowed to rest on God's day. I've always thought the leadership of a church community should model the life they expect their congregation to live. Our habits of worship on Sunday night allow me to slow my pace on Sunday. I can eat breakfast with my kids, clean the house, go outside and do something. I'm not stressed and out of the house by 7am and barely getting home at 2pm only to crash out after kicking the dog and reviewing all the things I could have done differently that morning. Instead, when I get to the worship meeting, I'm relaxed and ready to go. I'm excited to see my friends. I can preach with a cup of tea in my hand and it feels more like a conversation than a sermon.

I don't know that every congregation could operate this way--I'm certainly not saying they should. But...for us, I have to say this way of doing church is downright heavenly! Bring on the Sabbath!!!

Office Space

We've hit yet another milestone in our journey at CTK Durango--we have an office. We are now located downtown in a building that is designed to accommodate small buisnesses. The owners are people who value community, so they encourage interaction between tennants and even have networking parties every month. Our particular office overlooks a big deck on the second story. We're pretty excited about having a space we can work in and the sense of community in the building fits our vision better than anything we could have imagined. My favorite feature is the CTK window sticker Steve made for the door--perhaps because that's about all the furniture we currently have for the new office!

New Location

We had a great time at our new location last night. We are now meeting at the Rec Center almost across the street from where Pickles used to be. It was ironic to drive by Pickles which has now been repainted blue and white, sporting a Kettle sign instead of the giant, spatula-toting pickle. It's almost as if Pickles never existed.

We took some time to talk a little about where we're headed in the coming months. We also talked about what it means to be a church for people who don't belong in church. I love looking around that room and seeing that the likes of us have found a home!

Right now I'm really looking forward to our visit to Salinas. I hope a lot of you can make it to the show-and-tell at Salinas Valley Community Church on Friday, May 4th. We will be sharing a little about what we've been up to for the last year. We'll also be showing a video featuring our beautiful town and the amazing people who are part of our church community. We are also hoping to be able to express our deep gratitude for your support and encouragement in this journey.

See you there!

I'm going to be a house husband!

This past Saturday, Jenn interviewed for a job at a new magnet high school in town. This morning, they called and offered her the job! She will be teaching English at a small high school designed to equip students to be more ready for the work force by the time they graduate. It is a great opportunity for her to be in on the ground level of a very creative way of doing high school.

This new development means a couple things for our family. One is that we will be taking our house off the market. By refinancing and cutting some costs, we will be able to afford our home--staying in our neighborhood will be good as well as keeping our house which has been a great place to host friends and church events. Having Jenn teaching full time will also mean that I get to facilitate the day to day life of our family. I'll be taking kids to school and keeping up with the house. While I've never worked in such a domestic capacity, the flexibility of the schedule will allow me to manage my pastoral duties during school hours.

This is great news for us and an incredible answer to prayer. Once again, God has been faithful to us as we've deepened our commitment to do whatever is necessary to follow through with our calling in Durango.

Easter

Tonight was great. We had to scramble to find a place to meet when Pickles decided to close a week earlier than planned. We ended up at Manna House. I love worshipping with these people--we have such great vocalists that we are able to have quality worship even with a small group of people. Add to that the level of authenticity we value so much at CTK and you have a fantastic worship experience.

One of the highlights of the evening (on a less spiritual plane) was sharing the 30lb chocolate Easter bunny that was donated to us through the soup kitchen. Let's just say that you'll be able to tell a CTKer by the terrible acne we're all going to have tomorrow from all the chocolate we ate tonight!

Amazing Grace

Last night, Jenn and I went to see a movie called, Amazing Grace--the story of William Wilburforce, the British abolitionist in the late 1700's. The movie started with two strikes against it in my movie criteria: it is set in a Victorian context, and it is about Christians (not that I have a problem with Christians, but I've never been too impressed with movies about them--ask me about the "Distant Thunder" series sometime). In the end, I really enjoyed the film. It was definitely a movie about a Christian and his struggle to effect change in the world, but it was more about how this Christian lived than showing him explain his faith. The underlying theme is the song, Amazing Grace written by a priest who had once been a slave ship captain. I was most affected by the elements of the movie depicting a man (Wilburforce) who is consumed with passion for what he becomes convinced is his calling from God. For all the passion and conviction he feels about his calling, he also feels as if it is tearing him apart. He leaves the context of the politics of abolition to try and recouperate only to find that he cannot leave his calling behind. To abandon his call would be far worse than the toll it was taking on him to pursue it.


While I don't endorse burning ourselves out in whatever we are doing, I see in this story the truth that once the Christ-follower encounters God's direction and call on their lives there is no escaping it, as joyous, liberating, heart-wrenching, or discouraging as it may, at times, be. I like the idea of being so captured by Jesus that I can only continue on any path that leads toward him--anything else seems pointless. There is something about the certainty and clarity of the vision that Jesus offers that overshadows the toll life can take on us all.

Anyhow...good flick!

The Evolution of an Adventure...or Ulcer

Well, things have progressed rapidly in the last few weeks as far as our church goes. About a week ago, I had a conversation with the owner of Pickles Restaurant where he had decided he wanted to develop the half of the building we've been using on Sunday nights and lease it to us on a permanent basis--the down side was that he wanted about a thousand dollars more than our entire monthly income and we would be responsible for the construction. I wrestled with this for about three seconds since the thought of our own space and option for permanent signage on Main is really attractive. In the end, however, we decided against this option as it would stretch us so much financially and we would rather put that investment into people over a building (sort of a core concept at CTK).

Two days ago, I was sitting in Pickles (they call the back corner table my office) and the server told me that they were shutting down the restaurant on April 8th. Sure enough, all the Pickle mugs and t-shirts were on sale and they were preparing to lease the whole building to a breakfast buffet chain from Texas. This, of course, made the former offers obsolete and moved our time table forward drastically in terms of finding a new location. As it stands, we have reserved some meeting rooms in the community recreation center where we can meet on Sunday evenings. We intend to meet there as long as we need to until we can find a place that is more comfortable. The Rec Center is nice--don't get me wrong--in fact, they have a video screen in place as well as room set-up and tear down provided...for almost $40 cheaper a week. We are grateful for a place to meet and a little bummed about Pickles closing, but mostly looking forward to what God has in mind for us over the coming months.

Things to pray about are: making a smooth transition to the Rec Center (we've just started having a couple "walk-ins" on Sundays and don't want to miss out on that), possibly a different place for us to me more permanently that is as comfortable and accessible as Pickles has been, and the prospect of some cheap office space for Steve and I (since we could almost afford rent on all the food we have to pay for at coffee shops and restaurants during our "office time").

Spring Forward

We are now beginning to enter the early days of spring in Durango. This is a new experience for me--seasons. I am used to the difference between rain and no rain, hot days and cooler days, but this is amazing. All winter we've been waking up to fresh snow. I have had a great time working at the ski resort. It has been character building to be sure--dealing with thousands of people and learning to relate to my co-workers who's highest priority in life is where to get their next free drink or cheap pot. I have been able to have some great conversations with liftys (the guys who work the chair lifts) and my fellow ticket checkers. I hope I've been able to be a witness to the authenticity and grace I've come to expect from the people of God's kingdom. Now, however, I'm starting to look to spring. With the warmer weather and longer days, the whole town is buzzing. Everyone is making their plans for their next seasonal job. The concept of new beginnings and transition are not foreign to this place at all. It is exciting and it seems you have an inroad with every person you meet, "so, what are you doing for the summer?" I'm even starting to get calls from people wanting to book Hummer tours!

I think I could get used to this seasonal life--enjoying the season I am in while looking forward to the one to come. I'm curious about this spring and summer. I'm wondering what people God will bring to us and how he will equip us to care for them.

My prayers right now are focused mainly on people. It seems that recently every single family in our church has been going through some sort of crisis. These situations are not fun in any way, but they do have a way of bringing us together. There is also our house transition (selling this one and buying a cheaper one) and finances for the fall. I've been reading a book by Dallas Willard called, The Divine Conspiracy which is basically a book about the Sermon on the Mount. It has a lot to say about how to live in the Kingdom and the importance of making our requests known to God.

I am most grateful right now for all of you who have followed our journey and taken care of us from a distance. I have been inspired and humbled by every one of you who have kept up with us and prayed with us over the last year. You remind me of what it is like to relate to Jesus. It is a precious yet lopsided relationship. What you bring to our lives here, the ways in which you have supported and cared for us, I could never adequately reciprocate. Instead of this being a shameful deterrent to our relationship, however, it seems to endear you to me all the more. Steve, Jenn, and I are going to be in California the first weekend in May. We'll be sending out the details soon, but I have to say that this visit is one of the things I am most looking forward to this spring. I can't wait to come together with as many of you as possible and share what God has done in our lives and in Durango over the last year. Thank you all for your sacrifice and friendship.

Entering the Podcast World

http://web.mac.com/ctkdurango/iWeb/Site/Podcast/Podcast.html

So, we're trying something new at CTK Durango--podcasting. For those of you unfamiliar with the podcast, it is basically a recording posted on the internet. Last night, we started recording the teaching from our worship service to podcast weekly. There are a couple reasons for this leap in technology: one is that we have a couple who is going away for two months and they wanted to be able to keep up with our worship. Another reason is for all of you who are not in Durango who have been supporting us and following our journey.

I hope you enjoy it and we would love to hear your feedback and response to what we have going on. Soon, we will have things set up so you can subscribe to the podcast through iTunes. For the time being, I've included a link to the website.

It's quite possible that we are the only church in America where you can hear kitchen noises in the background of all our teaching (courtesy of Pickles Restaurant)!

http://web.mac.com/ctkdurango/iWeb/Site/Podcast/Podcast.html

Let it all hang out!

Why is it that the story of many pastors today reads of amazing leadership and dedication and progressive pursuits followed by a catastrophic moral failure that brings it all crashing down over night? Why is it that revealed weakness or real struggle in our spiritual leaders is so shocking and disappointing? Could it be that the church's pursuit of excellence and execution has superceded the values of authenticity and accountability?

Jesus didn't hold it together when he walked into the temple and saw people making money off worship. He didn't act cool when Lazarus was dead. He never pretended it was all good to be crucified. Jesus blew up...he wept...he wondered if there might not be an easier way to do hard things. Jesus' life seems to have been a roller coaster of emotion, improvisation, compassion, empathy, and obedience. I don't read the gospels and see an upward trajectory of increased excellence and execution--I see Jesus responding in the moment every moment. Sometimes he is angry, other times sad or compassionate or abrupt with the truth. He seems to be honest with what he is feeling and experiencing--even if those feelings are not the most effective way to "win people over". He seems to care more about loving people in the midst of life as it happens as opposed to projecting that he is impervious to his surroundings and circumstances.

My greatest hope is that the people in our church understand that my failures often match (and usually immediately follow) my victories. I want them to see that, while I strive to obey God in every moment, how I get there can be sketchy and indirect. I want us to witness and experience a process of transformation as messy and unpredictable as it is God-inspired and beautiful. I understand about disclosure and being appropriate and wise in how we share information. I don't feel compelled to "prove" my brokenness for effect or reaction--I do, however, believe that it is authenticity, more than excellence, that honors God and inspires people. I believe I have done my congregation an incredible disservice if they are shocked to find out that I have real difficiencies and struggles.

I realize that healthy, stable people will probably be turned off by this way of doing business. I suppose in the end I may end up surrounded by only hurting and broken people searching for God in the midst of their complex and unpredictable lives...but I have to ask, is that really such a bad thing?

Going to the Deep End

We have come to an important crossroads in our journey. Part of our process in moving to Durango was to raise enough money for Steve and I (and my family, of course) to live on for about a year. We had several reasons for this. The main reason was to allow ourselves some time to establish this church community at its own pace. We didn't want to equate people showing up with a paycheck. Another reason was that it gave a small group of people an opportunity to partner with us in this project. It has been a beautiful thing to see these people continue to pray for us and support us--for me personally it has helped me not feel so lonely in a new place to have such a great network of friends keeping up with us.

We've come to the place now where we will be able to stretch our financial support for another four or five months. Six months into our work here, some amazing things have happened. We are meeting in a restaurant which has worked well for us--in fact, the owner is thinking of remodeling the area we currently rent to be better suited for our group, opening the door for us to lease it on a more permanent basis (think office space and not hauling equipment every week!). About a third of the people worshipping with us on Sunday nights are locals and they have come to the point where they call CTK their church. One of these women has become involved in our budgeting and marketing and another guy is part of our worship team! We have also grown our small groups to the point where more people are in these groups than show up on Sundays (reflecting our high value on small groups). These are just a few of the exciting things that serve to affirm our decision to come to Durango and now our decision to deepen our commitment.

Jenn and I are in the process of selling our house. We bought it this past summer with the understanding that if we needed to, we could sell it and move to a home we could afford without a mortgage. We figure we can cut our living costs substantially by eliminating the house payment. Jenn is also applying for teaching jobs in the junior highs and high school. A job with the school district would give us much more affordable medical benefits as well as a greater earning potential than I am making working part time at minimum wage. If all this comes together, I will be staying at home with the kids and focusing on pastoring while Jenn teaches. Our goal is basically to be able to live on 25%-50% less than we are now. This would allow us to continue our work with CTK as well as keep to our principles in terms of letting our community grow at its own pace.

I am as confident as ever that we are exactly where we should be and it is exciting to see things developing the way they are. We love Durango just as much as we did six months ago, only now it is more about the precious people God has led to us than the mountains and rivers (even though they are still magnificent!). I am incredibly grateful to all the people who have supported us in this endeavor. Your feedback and friendship have strengthened and encouraged us over the last six months. Steve and I are looking forward to visiting California in May to connect with you all and give a better report of what God is doing here.

Jake is Pulling Through

I visited Jake in the hospital yesterday and he was awake and coherent. I think today they will be moving him from ICU into a regular room for a few days. He doesn't remember anything after eating some pizza about a week ago, but he apparently overdosed on something. Continue to pray for him and that we are able to help care for him and communicate Christ's love for him.

Pray for Jake

Jake is one of our friends at Manna Soup Kitchen. Last week, he apparently overdosed and is now in the hospital on life support. He is improving slowly, but they are still keeping him on a breathing machine and unconscious until his body recouperates. Even though the prognosis is favorable, he is in really bad shape and nothing can be guaranteed. Please pray that he heals quickly and is able to regain his strength once they bring him back to consciousness.

Jake is estranged from his family (who live out of state) and only has a couple friends in town. The thought of this guy dying alone with no one to mourn for him breaks my heart. Pray also that our CTK family can support him now and after he is released from the hospital.

We also long to see Jake come into a relationship with Christ--especially because we don't know all the circumstances surrounding his overdose.

Mission.

There is a school of thought that says the more prepared you are, the more God will bless what you do. There is also a line of thinking that believes God's blessing and involvement in an endeavor can be measured in terms of how few "unpredictables" occur.

I don't buy that for a minute.

No sooner had Jesus humbled himself to the point of being baptized than he was tempted to give up his mission and inheritance for food and earthly riches. At the very point that Jesus' ministry was building on the momentum created by John the Baptist, John got his head cut off. When Jesus was confronting the fact that he was about to give up his life, making his way toward the people who hated him most, his friend Lazarus died. He spent three years falling deeply in love with twelve disciples only to have one of them betray him to the cross. Part of Jesus' human life was dealing with the uncontrolllable, the unexpected, and the junk that happens in life. He endured the temptation after fourty days with no food and water. He had to let John die. Lazarus' sisters were angry because they knew he could have healed Lazarus if he'd been there in time (and he could have been there in time). These things must have been incredibly difficult for Jesus--especially when people who didn't understand his love and mission criticized or abandoned him. Since preparedness and lack of "unpredictables" weren't going to herald God's blessing and direction, there must have been something else that Jesus looked to in measuring the success of his mission.

He definitely had a mission. He was there to sacrifice himself for love of people. He was also there to love people--to be the model of how God feels about his most prized creation. His accomplishment in sacrifice and love would mean redemption of sin and the establishment of his church that would continue his mission to the world. There were some prophecies to be fulfilled and, at times, Jesus seemed to be very directed and intentional--but he talked too much about his obedience to the Father for me to believe that he knew where he was headed every step of the way. I think there were times when he was just going--unwavering in his mission, but not clear on where it would take him at that moment. For me this gives great meaning to his ministry. There is such beauty in his spontaneity with the woman at the well--incredible depth in the time he spends thinking and writing in the dirt with the woman caught in adultery--wonderful intimacy in dealing with the woman who touched his robe as he walked through the crowd. At times, I wonder if Jesus' understanding of his movement toward his mission had more to do with looking back than knowing where he was headed next.

This is, perhaps, the point where I most identify with Christ. To be where we are--doing what we are doing is nothing short of God's direction and mission for us. I could not have devised a plan to move to a little town in the mountains where it snows for months on end. I wouldn't have elected myself as the leader of a tiny community of believers in a church that can barely afford the cost of renting the back room in a restaurant. But I know my mission. I know full well that God has called me to sacrifice myself for his church. I have been raised to shepherd people to places where they can serve the hurt and broken-hearted--sacrificing themsleves on behalf of this great love God has extended to us. I never imagined that answering that call would lead me here, but I can't measure my pursuit of God's leading by making sense of circumstances and I can see things coming on the horizon that will not make sense in conventional terms. I can only assume they are part of God's plan that I cannot see because when I look back on our journey so far, I see some amazing things God has done in the midst of experiences I didn't understand or plan for.

God give me the ability to respond to the path you have chosen the way Jesus did--with spontaneity, depth, thoughtfulness, and intimacy. Make us bold and relentless as we pursue your mission in spite of circumstances.

Moving Forward

This is a big week in the life of CTK Durango. This week (or next week) we are kicking off our new small groups. Each group is different. We have a group of married couples, a group of women, a group of 20-somethings studying Ecclesiastes, and a group that simply describes themselves as sinners! As these groups start up, we will be arriving at something I've been interested to see--we will have more people meeting in small groups than we have attending Sunday services. This is interesting to me. I'm curious to see if the people who don't attend Sundays will start coming or not. Many of the people joining the groups are people who would not necessarily visit a church, but are willing to meet in someone's living room. Personally, as much as I would like to have people showing up on Sundays to worship with us, I my preference is that they be in small groups.

I'm anxious to see how the groups develop. I'm also excited to see what the experience of leading a group will be like for some of the people who are taking a real step of faith to be facilitators. Mostly, I'm looking forward to seeing how God transforms people's lives through the relationships that develop in each of these unique groups. Pray for us!

Top 25 Most Innovative Churches

Outreach Magazine recently made their list of the top 25 most innovative churces in America. CTK made the list at number 22. It is pretty amazing to see us listed with communities like Erwin McManus' Mosaic and Rob Bell's Mars Hill. In the article, CTK earns its spot in the top 25 because of the fact that we are a church made up of small groups. This reality has got to be my favorite thing about CTK. Small groups are not a program or an element of what we do, it IS what we do. Our entire goal is to lead people into deeper relationship with Christ in the small group context where I believe spiritual growth happens best.

Our three focuses/values at CTK are Worship, Small Groups, and Outreach. With the exception of our weekly worship services, all of these things are designed to happen in people's living rooms and in coffee shops outside of church buildings--or in our case Pickles Restaurant!

Here's the link if you're interested: http://outreachmagazine.com/Library/features/JF07ftrMostInnovativeChurch.asp