Mission.

There is a school of thought that says the more prepared you are, the more God will bless what you do. There is also a line of thinking that believes God's blessing and involvement in an endeavor can be measured in terms of how few "unpredictables" occur.

I don't buy that for a minute.

No sooner had Jesus humbled himself to the point of being baptized than he was tempted to give up his mission and inheritance for food and earthly riches. At the very point that Jesus' ministry was building on the momentum created by John the Baptist, John got his head cut off. When Jesus was confronting the fact that he was about to give up his life, making his way toward the people who hated him most, his friend Lazarus died. He spent three years falling deeply in love with twelve disciples only to have one of them betray him to the cross. Part of Jesus' human life was dealing with the uncontrolllable, the unexpected, and the junk that happens in life. He endured the temptation after fourty days with no food and water. He had to let John die. Lazarus' sisters were angry because they knew he could have healed Lazarus if he'd been there in time (and he could have been there in time). These things must have been incredibly difficult for Jesus--especially when people who didn't understand his love and mission criticized or abandoned him. Since preparedness and lack of "unpredictables" weren't going to herald God's blessing and direction, there must have been something else that Jesus looked to in measuring the success of his mission.

He definitely had a mission. He was there to sacrifice himself for love of people. He was also there to love people--to be the model of how God feels about his most prized creation. His accomplishment in sacrifice and love would mean redemption of sin and the establishment of his church that would continue his mission to the world. There were some prophecies to be fulfilled and, at times, Jesus seemed to be very directed and intentional--but he talked too much about his obedience to the Father for me to believe that he knew where he was headed every step of the way. I think there were times when he was just going--unwavering in his mission, but not clear on where it would take him at that moment. For me this gives great meaning to his ministry. There is such beauty in his spontaneity with the woman at the well--incredible depth in the time he spends thinking and writing in the dirt with the woman caught in adultery--wonderful intimacy in dealing with the woman who touched his robe as he walked through the crowd. At times, I wonder if Jesus' understanding of his movement toward his mission had more to do with looking back than knowing where he was headed next.

This is, perhaps, the point where I most identify with Christ. To be where we are--doing what we are doing is nothing short of God's direction and mission for us. I could not have devised a plan to move to a little town in the mountains where it snows for months on end. I wouldn't have elected myself as the leader of a tiny community of believers in a church that can barely afford the cost of renting the back room in a restaurant. But I know my mission. I know full well that God has called me to sacrifice myself for his church. I have been raised to shepherd people to places where they can serve the hurt and broken-hearted--sacrificing themsleves on behalf of this great love God has extended to us. I never imagined that answering that call would lead me here, but I can't measure my pursuit of God's leading by making sense of circumstances and I can see things coming on the horizon that will not make sense in conventional terms. I can only assume they are part of God's plan that I cannot see because when I look back on our journey so far, I see some amazing things God has done in the midst of experiences I didn't understand or plan for.

God give me the ability to respond to the path you have chosen the way Jesus did--with spontaneity, depth, thoughtfulness, and intimacy. Make us bold and relentless as we pursue your mission in spite of circumstances.