One of my favorite things about CTK Durango is our honesty and transparency. We "let it all hang out" with each other. I've heard people talking in our worship services saying, "I feel pretty crappy. In fact, I didn't feel like coming today, but I figured, what the hell!" We've shared the good and the bad. It's a cultural reality for us that has shaped the kind of church we've become.
Recently, however, I was confiding in a friend about some of the difficulties we are having as a family and he mentioned that he was surprised to hear about the struggles because everything seems so positive and upbeat on this blog. Part of this is that there are really so many things going well here. The church is thriving in it's own unique and earthy way. We are reaching the people that no one else seems too interested in. On the other hand, I am feeling pretty convicted that I would showcase these amazing things without also being willing to share less attractive and more difficult happenings.
So, here goes...
While the church is thriving and people are connecting in ways I never thought possible, Jennifer and I are struggling to make it financially. This year, Jenn went to work teaching. We have been living off her income along with a $500 monthly stipend from the church. I guess I don't need to put our budget here, but suffice it to say that we are living on a shoe string. We do not have any form of entertainment or clothing or extra-curricular activities in our personal budget. We don't have cable and I just shut down my final luxury--an account with Nexflix. Our housing costs are low for this area. Our mortgage is less than what it would cost us to rent a house. We have done everything we can to cut costs but we are still not able to quite make ends meet. Right now we are running on about a three hundred dollar deficit each month. As far as debt goes, we have one $240 car payment and about $5000 left to pay on debt we accrued over the first year moving to and settling in Durango. On a positive note, in two months, my income from the church will go from $500 to $1000/month which will be helpful.
I'm not sharing any of this to generate sympathy (or donations for that matter). I am fully aware that there are people all around us who are in far worse condition. My goal here is simply to be as honest and authentic as the faith community that has risen around our efforts here in Durango. I feel no sense of entitlement to any level of income or standard of living. I do, however, have some very real concerns about our financial reality--it is a struggle for us, to say the least. If you're still reading, I will close with this: God has been good to us. He has often affirmed what we are doing here and is moving in fantastic ways in this community. I am having some great moments with my wife, and both my kids--almost daily. I am building on new friendships that challenge and inspire me, and I am looking forward to many things in the coming months. It would be less than honest of me, however, keep such close accounts of all these things and not also share the struggles and costs of working for God in such an unorthodox context as this.
